News - Veterans
Norman Taylor, Vets Captain 2008
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Dear Vet Tuesday 18th November
Tomorrow is planned as a Medal and, surprisingly, it looks as if we can run it. I played on Sunday and the course was in reasonable condition for mid November. You have to get used to putting over the leaves on some greens but they still go in – sometimes. Assuming no dramatic change in the weather, it will be a qualifier for handicap purposes in keeping with the CONGU desire to run qualifiers under winter rules whenever possible. So it will be pick and place on fairways only and multi-mats will be allowed.
The Pro Shop has given us a further week’s extension on hedgehogs so you may use your unmodified trolleys this week – both pull and electric.
We will be going out in handicap order – lowest first – according to the list of entries from the board. If you did not put your name down, please come along but you will be at the back of the field. In theory, we can tee off from 8:30 but this depends on the readiness of the course. There is no formal meal afterwards but I hope we can all sit down in the conservatory afterwards and mock the bad scores. Mine will certainly be among them as, like many of us, I always manage to blow at least two holes in spectacular fashion. To me: Medal = up nought point one. Roll on next season.
Happy golfing!
Norman
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Dear Vet Sunday 9th November
As I look from the window at the dark, wet and cold world outside I wonder why I always have a cold in November when I’m mentally ill-prepared to handle it. Today I haven’t even been able to drag myself to the course for a round of golf to lift my spirits. So, roll on Wednesday!
This week we will have a Texas Scramble with the draw taking place just before 8:30. In theory, we can start from 8:30 but the weather will be the deciding factor. Anyone not present at the draw can go out at the back of the field so everyone who wants a game will get one. Much to my surprise, buggies were allowed last week but, for the next three or four months, be prepared to hand carry.
I thought I had found the perfect way to avoid shopping with the wife. It involves looking for the most exotic and expensive goods and stuffing them into the trolley to triple the weekly bill. I’m no longer asked to go. However, my ingenuity is nothing compared to the ideas expressed in this letter which was sent recently from Tesco’s Head Office in Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares...... and watched what happened.
4. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
5. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
6. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
7. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
8. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the House wares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were
9. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
10. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
11. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
12. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
13. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
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Dear Vet Sunday 26th October
Last year’s Birdie Tree was won by Charlie Mitcham with an outstanding 16 gross birdies in the period 1st April to 31st October - way ahead of the field. This year looks very different with three players currently on eight: Eddie Chambers, Graham Jones and Richard Neal.
It would be good to have an undisputed winner so this Wednesday will be a Medal competition with the three birdie tree contenders playing together. How’s that for tension? If they are still equal after this last event of the birdie season, then the player who shot his eight (or higher) first will be the winner.
Play for all will commence from 8:30 or afterwards depending on the weather /light and the greenkeepers’ progress. We will again be playing off yellow tees and, as we are in the official winter season with winter rules, the event will qualify for handicap changes as long as there are no more than two temporary greens in operation.
There were mixed feelings last week about qualifying competitions off the yellow tees in the winter season but this is expressly permitted and encouraged by CONGU (Council of National Golf Unions) to which we belong. To put the matter beyond doubt, I asked those present last week to vote on whether we should qualify the event for handicap changes and the answer was a resounding ‘Yes’ by 16 votes to 5. As was pointed out by past captain Roger Fuller, we have not had many qualifying opportunities this year and should take them when we can.
As it is school half-term I will be taking a golf break away so will be unable to join you. The day will therefore be hosted by vice captain Brian Smith.
Thanks, Brian.
Good luck and good golfing!
Norman
PS
Don’t forget to sign up for the ‘Bring & Win’ competition on Wednesday 5th November. The golf will be followed by a formal lunch and an undignified scramble for the most-promising parcels.
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Dear Vet Monday 20th October
This Wednesday will be the October Stableford, playing off yellow tees from 8:30am on (weather and greenkeepers permitting). As we are in October, there will be preferred lies on the fairway (only) so the competition will still qualify for handicap changes under CONGU rules. Please make sure you and your marker both sign your cards afterwards and let me have them. After checking the provisional results, I will pass them on to the Pro Shop for recording on the computer.
Unfortunately, Brian Smith and I will not be able to join you in the event. After his stunning victory in the Ribald Cup last week (well I was stunned) the Vice Captain will once again be on opposite sides to me He will be partnering Richard Neal against Mike Selling and myself in the final of the Pairs Matchplay competition. Richard has been generous enough to give Brian and I a shot apiece while Mike gets seven. It should be a fine battle.
I guess senility has finally(?) struck me. I found the pic below on my PC recently but have no idea where it came from. Whoever sent it to me, thanks! It’s exactly the way a good golf hole should be designed.
Happy golfing!
Norman
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Dear Vet Monday 13th October
This Wednesday sees the last of the triathlic (?) Ribald Cup – the Swindles. Just as in the Ryder Cup, the Vice Captain and I have drawn up the playing sequence for our team without consulting each other. We will only see who is playing who in these individual matchplay singles when we put the two lists side-by-side on Wednesday morning.
As I can’t fiddle organise the pairings, no sympathy will be shown to anyone unhappy with their opponent. No complaints please, or the event will have to be renamed Last of the Summer Whine.
We will go out in fours, although you will be playing your singles matchplay against one opponent (which is better than two against one, surely?). In accordance with the latest CONGU rules, we will be using full handicap allowance
We are now teeing-off from 08:30 every Wednesday and will all start on the first – playing off yellow tees as we will do for the rest of the winter season. This week, there will be preferred lies on the fairway only..
I hope we will all meet up afterwards in the conservatory (there is no set lunch and no need to change). When we are all in, Charlie Mitcham our 2007 Captain will announce the result and present the Ribald Cup to the winning team. I trust he makes the right decision.
Happy golfing!
Norman
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Dear Vet Sunday 5th October
Europe may have failed to win the Ryder Cup (by a big margin) so it's our mission to show them how it's done. This Wednesday sees the second leg of our own Ribald Cup - the Greensomes event. The rules are loosely based on Greensomes (see below) but don't let that deter you. Just turn up and enjoy the fun. Don't worry if your name's not on the pairing list; we will ensure you can take part.
For the record, the first leg (Foulsomes, played in April) resulted in a lead for the Captain's team of 10 points to 4. A further 19 points are on the line in this leg so there is still everything to play for. The Vice Captain will be expecting a supreme effort from his team. Some hope!
No. |
Captain |
Vice Captain |
Res. |
Capt |
Vice Capt |
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Name |
Hcp |
Strokes Recvd. |
Name |
Hcp |
Strokes Recvd. |
||||
1 |
Norman Taylor |
17 |
3 |
Brian Smith |
17 |
0 |
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Peter Sands |
19 |
Charlie Mitch. |
14 |
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2 |
Gordon Thurs. |
16 |
0 |
Colin Young |
13 |
3 |
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Henk Eenkhoorn |
17 |
Mike Selling |
25 |
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3 |
John Drewett |
15 |
0 |
Dave Vincent |
22 |
2 |
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Clive Bolland |
26 |
John Mansell |
22 |
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4 |
Graham Jones |
14 |
0 |
Eddie Chamb. |
16 |
0 |
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Brian Piddock |
27 |
Bob French |
25 |
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5 |
Tug Wilson |
10 |
0 |
John Williams |
17 |
1 |
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Derek Stubbing |
27 |
Phil Castle |
22 |
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6 |
George Slingsby |
17 |
0 |
Richard Neil |
16 |
2 |
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Ian Bridgland |
23 |
Tim Mitchell |
28 |
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7 |
Terry Ringer |
26 |
2 |
Peter Ralph |
20 |
0 |
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Mike Fitzcharles |
26 |
Tim Mitchell |
28 |
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8 |
Mike Payne |
24 |
4 |
Roger Fuller |
21 |
0 |
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Arthur Mills |
28 |
Mike Wells |
23 |
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9 |
Dave Carter |
28 |
2 |
Peter M-Smith |
24 |
0 |
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TOTAL POINTS |
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RULES OF GRUESOMES
• Teams of two players - Captain or Vice Captain’s
• Handicap allowance is halve the difference between the combined totals of team A and team B
• Team Captains toss a coin to decide the honour on the first tee. Thereafter as usual.
• After all four players have teed off, opponents choose the ball the other side is to play (they cannot choose an OOB ball)
• Team players hit alternate shots until they hole out
• The lowest nett score wins the hole.
• Winning team is the one to win most holes
• After play, the winning team receives one point, both teams receive a half point for a half
Happy golfing!
Norman
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Dear Vet Tuesday 30th September
Now that the section has decided that we are out of the League, I hope we can get back to playing golf for the love of it and leave politics behind. It has not been pleasant these past few weeks and I am looking forward to better times.
The last day of the month is followed tomorrow by our last Friendly match of the season: the traditional away game against Boughton. The team is
Norman Taylor & Peter Sands, Peter Ralph & John Mansell, Gordon Thurstans & Roger Fuller, Eddie Chambers & David Vincent, George Slingsby & Clive Bolland, Brian Smith & Brian Piddock.
The official season will then be over but do not despair. There are exciting times ahead with two rounds of our version of the Ryder Cup. Gruesomes (modified Greensomes) will be played on Wednesday 8 October followed by Swindles (a sort of singles) on the following Wednesday. The somewhat bizarre rules are designed to inject some excitement into the matches as the crowds may be slightly smaller than those at Valhalla. But I could be wrong.
This Wednesday’s Special will be an individual Stableford competition. As I will be away at Boughton, players will have to appoint their own ‘captain for the day’ to organise tee times and collect the cards afterwards for the Pro Shop. As usual, tee allocations are from 8am. Please register early at the Pro Shop. Remember that winter rules - 'picking and placing' on the fairway - are allowed in qualifying competitions from 1st October when conditions require.
Happy Golfing!
Norman
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Dear Vet Monday 22nd September
This Wednesday we are playing that most popular of formats – the Medal.
As you know, we are now playing our qualifying events off the white tees. After taking soundings from some members, this Wednesday we will also use the ‘mountain’ on the third but playing it as a par five. I’ve prepared the cards in advance and show the change on hole three.
To speed up play (hopefully) we will be going out in handicap order with the lower handicaps going out first. I’ve prepared the playing order from the list of entries on the board so anyone who has not signed up can still play but will have to go out at the end of the field. The sequence is:
- Tug Wilson, Colin Young, Charlie Mitcham
- Graham Jones, Gordon Thurstans, John Drewett
- Richard Neal, Eddie Chambers, Brian Smith
- Norman Taylor, George Slingsby, John Williams
- Peter Sands, Peter Ralph, Roger Fuller
- David Vincent, John Mansell, Mike Selling
- Bob French, Clive Bolland, Derek Stubbing
- Arthur Mills, Tim Mitchell, Terry Ringer
- Mike Wells (room for more!)
I hope that playing in three-balls will enable a good pace. Mark Chilcott is away at the moment so I have not been able to discuss using other tees to get us out quicker. He is due back on Wednesday but this may be too late to make the arrangements.
Don’t forget the meeting afterwards to receive John Mansell’s report on league dates. This will be followed by a debate with motions emerging from the floor on which we will vote.
Looking forward to an interesting day!
Norman
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Dear Vets Monday 15th September
It seems incredible but, this Wednesday we will play our last home match of the 2008 season. After 27 home and away matches, we are slowly getting the hang of the format. Just as well as we will be playing our local derby against Tenterden. We have lost the previous three matches against them so it is time for a change. I like the look of our team (see above).
Please let me know if you are unable to play; we have some anxious reserves waiting in the wings.
The by-now traditional Wednesday Special continues as usual. We haven’t played a Texas Scramble since July so that is the plan for this week. I will be on hand from 7:30 to get things started with the help of a ‘captain for the day’, with tee allocations from 8am. Please register early at the Pro Shop so they can arrange tee times.
As promised, we will shortly hold a meeting to discuss John Mansell’s report on what he has been able to achieve about League matches in 2009. As you will recall, he was to see if they could be moved away from Wednesdays. We now suggest holding the review meeting in the clubhouse after play of the September Medal on Wednesday 24th September. John’s report will be followed by a debate leading to a vote on what message he is to take to the SKGV AGM on 14th October. This will require a motion from the floor supported by a seconder. As we cannot know in advance what this motion will be, there can be no postal or proxy voting. In the meantime, John is modifying the minutes of the previous meeting to take account of comments received. John will circulate the revised minutes in advance so that, hopefully, we do not spend an inordinate amount of time on them but concentrate on what we do next. Our section operates democratically so I trust we will have a good debate, with everyone able to make their points, in the same way as at the previous meeting.
Thank you and Happy Golfing!
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Dear Vets Sunday 7th September
This Wednesday sees the long-awaited return of an event open to all vets – the Autumn Pairs Trophy. It is played as an Individual Stableford with the scores added together afterwards to decide the winning pair. This means that it can qualify for handicap changes, something that many of us are looking forward to (?).
So far we have only 20 entries which is a little disappointing. If you have not already entered, please add your name to the list on the notice board as soon as possible as I need to inform the chef of the numbers for lunch. Colin Young has kindly agreed to be an ‘honorary vet’ for the day so that no individual vet ends up without a pairing. Thank you, Colin.
The ‘draw’ so far is as follows:
Norman Taylor & Clive Bolland with Brian Smith & Richard Neil
Tug Wilson & Derek Stubbing with Graham Jones & George Slingsby
Charlie Mitcham & John Drewett with Eddie Chambers & Peter Sands
Peter Nicklin & Brian Piddock with Roger Fuller & John Mansell
Dave Vincent & Ian Bridgland with Phil Castle & Mike Wells
Ribald Cup excitement grows
The Ryder Cup kicks off in two weeks time (16 – 21 September) with us glued to our TVs for five days. The big event, however, is our own Ribald Cup between the Captain and Vice Captain’s teams. We played the first leg – the Foulsomes – back in April and will play the Gruesomes on 8th October and the Swindles on the 15th. As with the Ryder Cup, once you have been selected for a team you can't switch sides - unless Brian and I need to fiddle things.
The teams for 8th October are now on the notice board and I ask you to please confirm your name or delete it if you are unable to play that day. The April Foulsomes resulted in a win for the Captain’s team by 10 points to 4 but there is a long way to go. There will not be a formal lunch after each event but I trust we will all sit down together in the conservatory and cheer the results. The spraying of champagne will be permitted but not brown ale.
Happy golfing!
Time for a smile
Yesterday’s Daily Mail published extracts from a new book* of definitions which amused me. Here are a few samples:
Avocado – a lavatory-coloured fruit.
Cardiology – the study of knitwear.
Chastity belt – area of land surrounding a nunnery.
Claustrophobia – fear of Santa.
Incurable disease – curable illness with a prohibitively-expensive treatment.
Lottery, National – an excuse to show yet more balls on Saturday TV.
Pill – great way of teaching teenage girls the days of the week.
Scrotum – the only must-have bag for men.
Walrus – about the only large grey thing that looks better with a moustache.
The above gave me an idea. How about a London Beach Golf Dictionary?
We could all contribute and become fabulously wealthy on publication.
To start the ball rolling, I offer the suggestions below. We probably need one or two more to get on the Best Sellers list so send me yours and I will add them. Thanks.
Abnormal Ground Condition – coffee at the bottom of the cafetaire.
Addressing the Ball – enabling people who find it to send it back to you.
Adolf Hitler - two shots in a bunker.
Advice - useless suggestion from a golfer playing even worse than you.
Caddie – device for keeping a golfer’s tee warm.
Casual water – relaxing pee behind a tree.
Lost Ball – the reason for the increasingly high pitch of your voice
Match – opportunity for putting together two people who loathe each other.
* This Septic Isle by Mike Barfield, published by Ebury at £9.99. © Mike Barfield.
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Dear Vet Monday 1st September
This Wednesday’s Friendly match against The Ridge will tee off from 9am, playing from the white tees. We lost narrowly to them in the away match (2½ to 3½) so we should be able to secure a home win. The team selection is given above. As usual, I will try to meet members’ requests for the choice of opponent but it is not always possible as our side and theirs is often different to that of the first leg.
Last week’s Wednesday Special was planned to be a Bogey competition. It did not go well. The format proved unpopular and the Pro Shop eventually rejected all the cards as many gross scores were improperly recorded. We will return this week to the popular Individual Stableford format to see if this is what players prefer. Play will be off white tees for qualifying purposes and teeing off from 8am. I will be there from 7:30 to get things underway and appoint a ‘captain of the day’. Assuming there are enough players to make the competition viable, there will be the usual fantastic prize for the winner! Please register early at the Pro Shop.
The DRAFT minutes of our recent meeting on League participation have been sent to everyone on the email list and further copies are on our vets’ notice board. I welcome corrections to the text so that the final minutes truly reflect what went on at the meeting.
Looking at some of the remarks made to me and comments received, I think how wise we were a couple of years ago to reject having a committee. Meetings take far too long and produce more heat than light. They also produce the customary ‘resignation’ speeches which can be paraphrased as: “You don’t agree with me, you should resign.” And “If I can’t get my way, I will resign.” I’ve heard both during the past couple of weeks.
At the end of the day, things are simple. We will have a meeting to decide what John Mansell says to the SKGV AGM. It will be a fair vote where the majority decide. We must all accept that vote, whatever it is, then get on with what we love – playing golf. In the meantime, a lowering of the temperature would be welcome!
Happy golfing!
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Dear Vet Monday 25th August
This week’s Wednesday Special is planned to be a Bogey competition, played off white tees for qualifying purposes and teeing off from 8am.
I will be there from 7:30 to get things underway and clarify the rules and scoring. , Assuming there are enough players to make the competition
viable, there will be the usual fantastic prize for the winner! Please register early at the Pro Shop.
We will also be playing our last League match of the season, at home to Kent National. They whitewashed us when we played them away so we need to get revenge. We are putting out a strong team, on paper at least, and if we play the way I know we can, we will win. The team is listed above.
Do you ever feel that the gods are out to get you? They are definitely after me. I chose Phil Brotherwood as my match partner against Kent National so the gods immediately rewarded him with a good round and a cut from 16 to 15.. Then I chose our resident bandit, Clive Bolland, as my partner in the Autumn Pairs. He immediately went out and shot 39 points to get himself cut from 28 to 26. What am I doing wrong?
On that last subject, don’t forget to chose a partner and put yourself down for the Autumn Pairs on Wednesday 10th September. The entry form is on the notice board. If you don’t have a partner, put your name down anyway and you should end up with one.
Happy golfing!
Norman
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Dear Vet Monday 18th August
After the excitement of the Vets Championship (see below), it’s ‘business as usual’ this week. For those not playing in the Friendly match, there will be a Wednesday Special competition teeing off from 8am. This week we plan to have an Individual Stableford competition, which will qualify for handicap changes. With this in mind, play will be off the white tees to provide a full-course challenge. In the long run, this should make our handicaps more competitive.There will be the usual fantastic prize for the winner. Please register early at the Pro Shop so they can arrange tee times.
The Friendly match against Etchinghill will tee off from 9am, also playing from the white tees for a change. As the season has progressed, our match play performances have improved and we are looking for a good result against this very competitive side. We halved the home match against them last year but I think we are now strong enough to win. Let’s see!
The team selection is: Norman Taylor & Peter Ralph, Tug Wilson & Mike Selling, Gordon Thurstans & Dave Vincent, Graham Jones & Mike Payne, Eddie Chambers & George Slingsby, Brian Smith & John Mansell.
I will try to meet members’ requests for the choice of opponent but it is very much dependent on the away team’s selection.
Happy golfing
Norman
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Vets Championship - Wednesday 13th August
Played under extremely difficult weather conditions, the day produced a worthy champion in the shape of Ian Bridgland who beat Brian Smith on count-back to secure the title. Full results are on the Results page.
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Ian Bridgland (R) receives the Vets Championship trophy after a fine round of 72. |
Dear Vet Sunday 10th August
Everything is now set up for the ‘big one’ this Wednesday – the Vets Championship (see the starting sheet below). It’s very gratifying to see that 27 of us will be trying to unseat the reigning champion Charlie Mitcham. But there’s something for everyone, including players with high handicaps, with seven prizes up for grabs: Gross 1st (the Vets Champion) and Gross 2nd, Nett 1st and 2nd, Nearest the Line on 2nd/11th and Nearest the Pin on 4th/13th.
We are also playing for the Putting Trophy so please remember to record the number of putts taken on each hole in the Points column on the scorecard.
(A putt is defined as a shot on the green. So it's not a putt if you are off the green, even if you use a putter.)
Also a reminder that there is only one prize per 'event' and that no-one can win two prizes. This means there will be 7 prizewinners from the 28 entrants. Even I have a chance! After play there is a formal sit-down lunch for the usual £10, starting at 2:30pm. Our proprietor Pierre Edmonds has kindly offered to put some wine on the table and I’m sure you will do it justice!
As you can see from the starting sheet, we will use the 1st, 2nd and 3rd tees initially (I could not get a shotgun start as there are two golf break groups scheduled in the am). Playing in groups of three should enable us to play at a reasonable pace, which is why I am planning 8 minutes separation between groups. It is a Strokeplay competition so you need to enter a score on every hole. We will be playing off white tees and I have asked the Pro to make the hole positions tough but fair. Good luck!
As we found during last week’s match, the key to faster play at this time of year is to stay out of the rough. If you think you may be in it, always play a provisional. I also suggest that if you do not find your ball in the rough after a minute or so you probably will not find it all. This is where having a provisional ball in play saves valuable time and makes the day more enjoyable for everyone. If you must search for your ball, please wave the group behind through – do not wait for the maximum five minutes. Thank you.
After lunch we will put the question of our continuance in the League forward for a vote. This is a question that tends to divide us. Some feel strongly and vocally that we should withdraw, while others feel equally strongly that we should continue. I hope that we can have a reasoned debate and that any member who has a point of view will put it forward and receive our full attention and careful consideration. If you are unable to attend, we will also accept your vote - FOR continuing or AGAINST - providing it is in writing (an Email will do). At the end of the day, the majority view must prevail and be accepted in our usual democratic spirit.
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Dear Vets - Monday 4th August
It seems amazing to me but the end of the season is already in sight. We now have just one League and five Friendly matches left to play this year from the original total of 29. One of the vets remarked to me that he was pleased with this thought as we can soon get back to proper golf. It reminded me of the army colonel who remarked in 1919 (in my presence, of course): “Thank god the war’s over. Now we can get back to proper soldiering.”
Anyway, it’s not all over yet, as you can see from the above selections.
As usual, there will be a Wednesday Special competition for those not playing in the match, teeing off from 8am. There will an organised event for you - with the usual fantastic prize for the winner. Please register early at the Pro Shop so they can arrange tee times.
Time for a thought
We golfers are often told to be philosophical about our game – which to me is the same as having a philosophy of life. Here’s one I like:
A professor stood before his philosophy class with some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced a glass of wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your health, your children, your friends, your favourite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full'.
'The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else—the small stuff'. If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house, and empty the bins.
Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
'One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented.The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a glass of wine'.
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Dear Vet Monday 28th July
After spending much of the season at away matches, we are now enjoying a run of home events. I make it 11 in a row, but my maths has never been that great. Be that as it may, on Wednesday, we are playing another home match: our league game against St Augustines, teeing off at 9am. It would be great if we can repeat the excellent win we had last week against Boughton.
The team is: Norman Taylor & Phil Brotherwood, Charlie Mitcham & John Drewett, Gordon Thurstans & George Slingsby, Eddie Chambers & Graham Jones, Roger Fuller & Mike Lyons
Reserves: John Mansell, Mike Selling
As usual, there will be a Wednesday Special competition for those not playing in the match, teeing off from 8am. Brian Smith (vice captain) will organise a challenging event for you and there will be the usual fantastic prize for the winner. Please register early at the Pro Shop so they can arrange tee times.
In the meantime, Charlie Mitcham took some pictures during and after our annual match against the Ladies last week - scores are on the Results page. Here is a selection(blackmail rates on application):
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Happy golfing!
Norman
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Dear Vets Tuesday 16th July
I am currently away all week at a summer camp, teaching English to students from France, Italy, Spain, Israel, Portugal, Georgia and all points west.
And I used to think that communicating with English vets was tough!
Anyway, my thanks to Charlie and Brian for stepping in and doing my job for me. One nice thing about being captain is the excellent support I get.
Thank you all.
I've been keeping an eye on things during my absene and have made the above team elections.
Note that I am panicking about our match against Boughton on Thursday 24th July as, currently, Eddie and I are playing
them on our own! We might need a little help..
Some deaths are under-reported and I think it only right that I bring this sad notice to your notice:
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is
worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost
went unnoticed in 1996.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote 'The Hokie Cokey' died peacefully at the
age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the
coffin. They put his left leg in.... And then the trouble started.
Happy golfing!
Norman
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Dear Vet Sunday 29th June
Tomorrow (Monday 30th June) we are playing an away League match against Kent National. This should be fun as they are letting us use their buggies for free! As these are equipped with the latest ‘boy’s toys’ of GPS satellite navigation, we look forward to some excellent play time. However, there is a downside. I understand that the position of each buggy can be seen and monitored from the pro shop. And I was planning to drop into town between holes …
Another intriguing fact is that the clubhouse is up for sale at a mere £2 million pounds. If we like the look of it, we might put in a bid so bring lots of loose change.
On Wednesday, we are playing the Old Peelers at home, teeing off at 9am. As they do not have a course of their own, we call this one the Away match so we must persuade them to buy all the drinks. You may remember that we halved the Home match with them back in May so I look forward to scoring our first Away match win of the season.
As usual, there will be a Wednesday Special competition for those not playing in the match, teeing off from 8am. Please register early at the pro shop so they can arrange things.
We were talking the other day about the best way to repair pitchmarks on the green. The Golf Course Managers Association offer this excellent advice:
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Happy golfing!
Norman
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Dear Vets Monday 23rd June
This Wednesday we are playing at home in a League match against the strongest side in the league – Walmer & Kingsdown. Wish us luck!
Team details are:
Wednesday 25th June – Walmer & Kingsdown – League – Home – 09:00Norman Taylor, Eddie Chambers, Charlie Mitcham, John Drewett, Graham Jones, John Mansell, Gordon Thurstans,
Mike Lyons, Tug Wilson, George Slingsby Reserve: Roger Fuller
Thanks to our growing numbers, we now have as many, or more, players turning up for ‘casual play’ on Wednesdays as are in the matches.
There is therefore a growing demand for something more official on these days. So, from now on, there will be a Wednesday Special on
all days when there is no event in our diary or when there is a match. The Captain will present the winner of an individual competition with
a sleeve of balls as soon as possible afterwards. No prizes for team events, I’m afraid, I can’t afford it!
This Wednesday’s competition will be an 18-hole Stableford but with only nine holes counting towards the result.
Specially-prepared cards will be obtainable from the Pro Shop on the day.
To comply with CONGU requirements, you must enter your name at the Pro Shop before you play and submit your individual card afterwards – no matter how good or bad!
We must also remember that events not in the diary have a lower priority than diary events. Although the Professional and his staff do everything possible to give us a clear run on Wednesdays, we cannot guarantee it and your patience will be appreciated should we not have the course to ourselves.
Happy golfing!
Norman
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Dear Vets Monday16th June
This Wednesday we are playing at home in a Friendly match against Romney Warren. Wherever possible, I’ve kept the same pairings as in the away match to give us the chance of revenge - although we lost the away event only by the narrow margin of 2½ matches to 3½.
Let’s turn that around on Wednesday!
The team selection is:
Wednesday 18th June –Romney Warren – Friendly – Home – 09:00
Norman Taylor & Graham Jones, Brian Smith & John Williams,George Slingsby & John Mansell, Gordon Thurstans & Tug Wilson, EddieChambers & Mike Wells, Charlie Mitcham & Brian Piddock
Reserves: Ian Bridgland, Dave Vincent
As usual, ‘casual play’ tee times are reserved for us starting from 8am for those not playing in the match. There is no official format so this may be a goodtime to play any matches you have outstanding.
The matchplay schedules and current results are on the Diary page of this website.
Tug has e-mailed us all a set of horrific pictures of the remains of an (unsurprisingly deceased) golfer after being struck by lightning
while sheltering under a tree.
This has not yet happened to me but I did have a tree fall on our home
last week (honest guv, I didn’t make it up). Thought you might like to see the evidence:
Happy golfing!
Norman
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Dear Vets Monday 9th June
This Wednesday we are playing away in a League match against Walmer & Kingsdown (see team selection below).
For those not playing in the away match, there will be an Irish Texas Scramble teeing off from 8:45. It’s called ‘Irish’ because you have to use the worst drive off the tee and the worst putt on the green. Further details from John Williams on the day.
After a strong start (winning 5:0 at home against Westgate & Birchington) we have been struggling in the League and are looking for major improvements over the next couple of months. Part of the problem is that too few players enter for the matches and I cannot make a selection based on current form. My own, for example, hasn’t been that great!
So, if you feel that you are enjoying a good run of form, please put your name down for League matches; we need to field the strongest side we can. Anyone who has played in the League will telll you that the matches feel just like Friendlies. Very often, the same players are involved and, win or lose, the same friendly spirit abounds. So don’t hold back, come and join us!
Some current match selections are:
Wednesday 18th June – Romney Warren – Friendly – Home – 09:00
Norman Taylor, Graham Jones, John Mansell, Brian Piddock Charlie Mitcham, John Drewett, Tug Wilson, Gordon Thurstans, Eddie Chambers, Mike Wells, Brian Smith John Williams,
Reserves: George Slingsby, Ian Bridgland, Dave Vincent
Wednesday 25th June – Walmer & Kingsdown – League – Home – 09:00
Norman Taylor, Eddie Chambers, Charlie Mitcham, John Drewett, Graham Jones, John Mansell, Gordon Thurstans, Mike Lyons, Tug Wilson, George Slingsby
Reserves: Roger Fuller
Wednesday 30th June – Kent National – League – Away – 10:00
Norman Taylor, Mike Lyons, Charlie Mitcham, John Drewett, Gordon Thurstans, George Slingsby, Tug Wilson, Mike Payne, Phil Brotherwood, John Mansell
Reserve: Terry Ringer
How are your eyes?
Recently I was playing with a golfer who seemed to have red/green colour blindness, the most common sort. This led me to thinking about how our eyes can get worse as we age and how useful a quick (and free), general check could be. One test is our ability to spot an optical illusion. Are you able to see the one below?
Happy golfing!
Norman
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Monday 2nd June
This Wednesday we are playing the ‘auld enemy’ Tenterden in an away Friendly match. On their website, we are billed as ‘London Beech’ so we need to show that our golf is less wooden than theirs. We are also invited to call in on the ‘hop shop’ but I intend to walk as usual.
I’ve done some tidying-up of these Veterans pages. Competition and Match results are now on the Results page (how logical is that?), while Team Selections are on this News page. Please keep your eyes skinned for changes; we are vets and bits of us get injured or drop off. I will, of course, continue posting selections and availabilities on the notice board.
Below are some forthcoming match selections. Note that we are one short for our League match on 11th June, away against Walmer & Kingsdown. Please give me a ring on 01233 822 132 if you can play. I’m happy to be your chauffeur!
As usual, ‘casual play’ tee times are reserved for us starting from 8am for those not playing in the away match. There is no official format on such days so this may be a good time to play any matches you have outstanding. I’ve not been pressing players so far because our May calendar of events was so full but we do need to move forward now that we are in a quieter period. This also applies to me! The matchplay schedules and current results are on the Diary page.
Please remember to ‘phone Mark Chilcott if you intend to play at home on Wednesday and let him know if you are playing a match or a competition.
Mentioning Mark, I was discussing our lack of match success with him recently. He has agreed to offer us group lessons at only £5 a head if we can produce five or six ‘learners’. This is an excellent opportunity to get expert advice on any aspect of our game we think needs attention. More details to follow.
We’ve had so much rain recently that I began to think the end of the world was nigh. Then I received this confirmatory message:
In the year 2008 the skies were leaden and much rain fell upon the earth. The Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in England, and said:
“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.”
He gave Noah the CAD drawings, saying: “You have 6 months to build the Ark before I start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard but no Ark.
“Noah!' He roared, 'I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?'
'Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things have changed. I needed Building Regulations Approval and I've been arguing with the Fire Brigade about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbours claim that I should have obtained planning permission for building the Ark in my garden because it is development of the site, even though in my view it is a temporary structure. We had to appeal to the Secretary of State but are still awaiting a decision.
Then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have Tree Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific Interest set up in order to protect the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the County Council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers Authority ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
I'm also still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how many disabled carpenters I'm supposed to hire for my building team. The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only accredited workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, Customs and Excise seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10 years for me to build this Ark.'
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'
“No,” said the Lord. “The British government beat me to it!
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Team Selection for Friendly Match v Romney Warren
To be played at Home on Wednesday 18th June teeing off at 09:00am
| Norman Taylor & Graham Jones |
| Brian Smith & John Mansell |
| Charlie Mitcham & John Drewett |
| Tug Wilson & Gordon Thurstans |
| Eddie Chambers & Mike Wells |
| John Williams & Brian Piddock |
| Reserves: George Slingsby, Ian Bridgland, Dave Vincent |
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_Team Selection for League Match v Walmer & Kingsdown
To be played at Home on Wednesday 25th June teeing off at 09:00am
| Norman Taylor & Eddie Chambers |
| Charlie Mitcham & John Drewett |
| Graham Jones & John Mansell |
| Gordon Thurstans & Mike Lyons |
| Tug Wilson & George Slingsby |
| Reserve: Roger Fuller |
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Monday 26th May
This Wednesday (28th May) we are playing a Friendly match against Boughton, one of our toughest fixtures. After our League defeat on their home ground we are looking for revenge so wish us luck!
There have been many changes to the team selections for the next few weeks (see below). I keep the changes posted on the Vets noticeboard and here on this website so please keep checking (see below).
For those not in Wednesday’s match, ‘casual play’ tee times are reserved for us starting from 8am so be prepared to go out early. Mark Chilcott reminds us to book these ‘casual play’ tee times in advance so please ‘phone him if you intend to play. You will also need to check with Mark if the casual play can qualify for handicaps. Mark will arrange this whenever there are enough players to make it worthwhile.
How can I get my handicap changed?
After last week’s Stableford Trophy, a group of us were talking about handicaps and the difficulty of keeping ours up to date when we play so many matches. The question also arose about how many handicap competitions must be played in a year to keep one’s handicap current. The official answer is ‘none’ because the English Golf Union has ruled that handicaps will not lapse (see their web site). This is an area where CONGU has delegated to the Union the decision on whether or not to lapse.
This can lead to the situation where some players may feel aggrieved that their handicap does not reflect their current playing ability. Which is why the 2008/2011 CONGU (Council of National Golf Unions) booklet introduces the very useful innovation of Supplementary Scores. Here’s what it says:
Supplementary Scores
The UHS (Unified Handicapping System) is based on the expectation that every player will return a sufficient number of scores to provide reasonable evidence of his current ability. To operate in the intended manner, the UHS requires information i.e. the return of Qualifying Scores to produce handicaps that reasonably reflect current ability.
Although golf club Committees and administrators may consider that in the course of a playing season they organise an adequate number of competitions to provide ample opportunity for Members to participate, investigation has confirmed that a substantial number of Members do not return sufficient scores in the period between Annual Reviews to maintain a handicap that reasonably reflects their current ability. This may in part be due to:
• Work or family commitments preventing participation in competitions
• Difficulty in obtaining an acceptable starting time on competition days in clubs with a large playing membership.
• A declining desire to play regular competitive golf.
Supplementary Scores have been introduced to provide players in the above situations and the like an alternative format in which to submit scores for handicap purposes and augment the often sparse information derived from competition play. The intent is to encourage the provision of more evidence of playing ability over a wider range of players and so make handicapping more equitable and golf under handicap conditions more meaningful for all concerned.
A Member may return a Supplementary Score for handicapping purposes in compliance with the following conditions:
21.1 Shall apply to Handicap Categories 2, 3, 4 and [5].
21.2 In order to qualify for the return of a Supplementary Score a player must have returned only six or fewer Qualifying Scores (excluding Supplementary Scores) in the preceding period between Annual Reviews.
21.3 A Supplementary Score may only be returned at the Home Club of the player.
21.4 An acceptable score for Supplementary Score purposes is any authenticated score over 18 holes under Competition Play Conditions over a Measured Course in compliance with the conditions listed in this clause. The format may be Stroke Play or Stableford.
21.5 Up to a maximum of ten Supplementary Scores may be returned in the period between Annual Reviews.
21.6 Unless the Affiliated Club decides otherwise, a Member is limited to the return of one Supplementary Score per week.
21.7 A player intending to return a Supplementary Score will be required to signify his intention prior to commencement of play in the manner determined by the Affiliated Club.
21.8 A Competition Scratch Score shall not be calculated and adjustments to handicap, in accordance with Clause 20.6, shall be made in respect of the Standard Scratch Score.
21.9 Stroke Play returns shall be subject to Stableford / Nett Double Bogey Adjustment in compliance with Clause 19.
21.10 The Supplementary Score must be recorded in the Player Handicap Record.
21.11 If a player who has registered for a Supplementary Score subsequently does not return a card an increase in handicap of 0.1 shall be applied.
21.12 Returns may be subject to action under Clause 23 (B) if ‘manipulation’ is suspected.
21.13 Players who have recently been allocated a CONGU® Handicap qualify immediately for the return of Supplementary Scores.
In short, tell the Pro Shop before you go out and write Supplementary Score as the name of the COMPETITION on your card. Play with a member with a handicap and observe all the Rules of Golf. Afterwards, Player and Marker sign the card and you must return it to the Pro Shop for entry into the computer.
That’s it!
Happy Golfing!
Norman
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Monday 12th May
Suddenly it’s summer and we are in the thick of things with four matches in eight days – against St. Augustines, Old Peelers, Ashford and Hawkhurst – with only the Old Peelers match being played at home. Now you know what it’s like to be on the Pro tour.
Speaking of summer, I managed to lose five balls during my worst round of the year on Sunday. All were the result of poor distance judgement and club selection. The ball is now running an extra twenty or thirty yards on the fairway so we need to take a couple of clubs less. I didn’t. As some poet remarked, “we live – we never bloody learn”.
For those not in the match against Old Peelers on Wednesday, ‘casual play’ tee times are reserved for us starting from 8am. If you recall, Mark Chilcott asked us to book ‘casual play’ tee times in advance on those days when we have home matches, to avoid potential clashes with golf breaks. Please ‘phone him if you intend to play. You will also need to check with Mark if any casual play can qualify for handicaps. Mark will arrange this whenever there are enough players to make it worthwhile.
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Finally, I like these Laws of Golf my daughter sent me (she doesn’t play golf but she does seem to understand it).
The Laws of Golf
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is also a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.
LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.
LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.
LAW 9: Oak trees eat golf balls.
LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works against you?
LAW 11: Golf buggies always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an SAS officer -- or some similar combination.
LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
LAW 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law 3:).
LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
LAW 16: Translations. "Nice lag" means "lousy putt." Similarly, "bad luck" means “idiot”.
LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until sunset.
Happy golfing!
Norman
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Monday 5th May
This Wednesday sees the first round of the Bulmers Pairs competition with 52 players taking to the field. It’s great to see so many of us veterans taking part; I trust we will head the results board! If not, we all have three more chances to get to the final: Sunday 15th June, Wednesday 9th July and Sunday 10th August. Tee times for this Wednesday range from 8am to 10am and are listed in full on the Vets noticeboard. The format is BetterBall Stableford, played off ¾ of handicap. Good luck!
Last Wednesday’s April Medal had to be cancelled due to heavy rain. However, a few brave souls ventured out to play a 9-hole Texas Scramble with winter rules through the green and a cavalier approach to rule-keeping. The weather improved as we went round and good scores were recorded. All those who did not play and went home instead were branded wimps unfortunates. You can see the results on the Results page.
The Vice Captain’s team included two Brians which no doubt led to some confusion in their ranks and accounted for their lowly position.
Memo to self: should match team members have different names? It may confuse them but just think of the effect on the opposition.
We are having mixed fortunes in our matches in the new Group 8 of the Society of Kent Golf Veterans (SKGV) having won one and lost one. We are currently lying second to Boughton in the six team competition – you can see the full table of results on the Results page.
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Monday 28th April
I was already feeling like a veteran Veterans Captain until I realised that we’ve only ticked nine calendar events played so far this year and there are still 40 to go. Give me strength …
This Wednesday makes a change from all the team events we’ve been playing recently; it’s an individual Medal so you’re on your own. Not everyone’s favourite format, I know, but take heart. The Sunday before last my playing partner took a 12 on the 1st but went on to - not being last. Which is something, considering he also had two nines on his card. Anyway, it’s a golden opportunity to get 0.1 back or be cut three strokes to a handicap you won’t be able to play to for months. Irresistible prospect , isn’t it?
While you are at the club, please check our notice board for the draw for the Bulmers Pairs on Wednesday 7th May. With 50 players going out, tee times are between 8am and 10am so it’s worth checking when yours is.
In the meantime, we have many matches to look forward to. Below are the selections for some of those upcoming in May, in partnership order.
Look forward to seeing you all this coming Wednesday.
Norman
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Monday 21st April
After the hammering we took last week at Etchinghill (lost 6:0) it’s time for some light relief. And I’ve just the thing: the first of the three events in the Ribald Cup, London Beach’s answer to the Ryder Cup. Played under similar rules to the famous event, ours introduces a number of variations which might improve the attractiveness of the bi-annual tussle between USA and Europe.
Ours is a match between sides representing the Vets Captain and the Vets Vice Captain. Wednesday’s event is the Foulsomes, our version of Foursomes, with the ‘rules’ published on the day - at least ten minutes in advance. The actual sides will be announced on the day with the teams carefully selected to ensure that I win fair play. Whichever team you end up in will be your team for the other two events played in October (Gruesomes and Swindles). There is a magnificent trophy for the winners as well as exciting prizes for players on the winning side (to be given out on Prize Day in December).
At long last, our logo’d clothing has arrived. Thanks for your patience. I will bring it along on Wednesday so remember to bring your payment – cash or cheques only please.
On Thursday we have our second League match (remember, we won the first one 5:0 at home to Westgate & Burchington). Thursday’s match will be tougher as it is against Boughton away, teeing off from 8:30. Please try to arrive by 8am so I don’t get too anxious before play. And remember the old saying about ‘when the going gets tough the tough get going’. Or something.
I’ve now done the team selection for our next Friendly match, against the Weald of Kent on Thursday 1st May at home (see below). We tee off from 9am and there will be the usual lunch afterwards at about 2:30 pm.
Look forward to seeing you all this coming Wednesday.
Norman
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Monday 14th April
The season is now well underway and, after the muddy trials of the past few weeks, the course is looking good and the ball is beginning to run on the fairways (though I do miss my multimat!).
This Wednesday, we have a Friendly match with Etchinghill. The team selection is given above and is also on the club notice board
As reported, we had an excellent start to our League career by winning our first match against Westgate & Burchington 5 -0. We’re unlikely to repeat this fine performance every time – but we will try! As I said in Thursday’s email, the result showed that we can compete well at League level and that the matches are as friendly as the Friendlies. Not surprising, really, you meet many of the same people and we are all united in enjoying the game for its own sake and having a good social day out. If this sounds like you, please put your name down on the big Availability chart on the noticeboard. You will be assured of several matches while the handicap system ensures that you will operate on a level playing field with at least an equal chance of winning (and that other thing).
It’s also interesting to note how often the higher handicaps do well in matches. I think this is because handicaps are a measure of our bad holes rather than our underlying ability. We do very well on our good holes while our partner provides cover on our bad ones. That is how matches are won and it’s why, when possible, I like to pair a lower handicapper with a higher one. However, it also noticeable that certain players ‘dovetail’ well together so I also try to meet your preferences in this respect.
For those not in the match it will be ‘business as usual’ on Wednesday with ‘casual play’ tee times reserved for us in the 9 – 10am slot. Starting in May, we will be able to tee-off from 8am which will please many of us who need to get away early. Mark Chilcott has asked us to book ‘casual play’ tee times in advance on those days when we have home matches, to avoid clashes with golf breaks. You will need to do this individually. I’ve also discussed with Mark the possibility of making our informal Wednesday competitions qualify for handicaps as otherwise there are very few opportunities this season with so many matches on the calendar. Mark will do this whenever there are enough players to make it worthwhile. In the meantime – Happy Golfing!
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Monday 7th April
This Wednesday we are due to play a League match at home to Westgate & Burchington (the team selection is on the notice board as well as below). Let’s pray for good weather.
We had a lovely friendly match away against Romney Warren last week. We did lose, but only by two and a half to three and a half so all credit to those who played. My special thanks to Mike Selling (hcp 28) who carried me (hcp 15) for most of the way while I struggled to find my missing swing. If anybody has seen it lying around, may I please have it back?
Still no news about the delivery of the new logo’d clothing, I’m afraid. The promised ‘ten days delivery’ is now stretched out to a month but I continue to chase the supplier.
If you are not playing in Wednesday's match you can still get a game by turning up early, no later than about 8:15. Hopefully, play for you will start from the second hole, ahead of the match so you do not get held up.
Thanks to Bob French who has done the draw for the Singles & Pairs matchplay competitions which run throughout the season. The draw is on the noticeboard as well as the Diary page of this Veterans section.
Please play your matches before the final date on the draw so that those who do play on time are not inconvenienced. The basic idea is that you first try to agree a mutually-suitable date. If this fails, each side offers the opponents three dates. The Captain and Vice Captain will not arbitrate in the event of any dispute. If the match has still not been played by the due date, the Captain and Vice Captain will toss a coin to decide the ‘winner’. This is an awful way of deciding anything so let’s hope it will never be necessary.
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Monday 31st March
Dear Vets, forget the World Cup, forget the Masters. The real golfing season starts this Wednesday with the first 'Friendly' of the year against Romney Warren at Romney Warren. All those long hours of weightlifting, Canadian arm-wrestling practice and pumping iron are about to pay off. With their golfing games honed to perfection over the winter, the London Beach ‘dream team’ (see above) jets off to Britain’s coast to take on the ‘auld enemy’ again and revenge last year’s narrow defeat. No more ‘pick and place’ anywhere, no more funny rules made up by the Captain once the competition is over, this is the real thing. ‘In defeat unthinkable, in victory unbearable’ will be our proud motto.
I spoke to the Pro at Romney this afternoon and he confirms that electric trolleys will be OK. There has been a buggy ban in operation for the past two days but he expects this to be lifted by Wednesday. Look forward to meeting you all there.
Members not coming with us to Romney can play unofficial golf at London Beach. Just turn up at the usual time and make up your own format and rules. You may well be limited to carrying or pull trolleys only – the course was very muddy on Sunday – but you should get away as long as we do not have much more rain between now and then.
I’m afraid our new logo’ed clothing is still not ready. Latest report is that all items are now available and are being embroidered. As this should only take two or three days, I’m hopeful that we will have everything by next week. Watch this space.
Norman
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NB The 26th of March League Match v Boughton was postponed because of the weather. It will now be played at home on Thursday 24th July.
Monday 24h March
Happy Easter! Anyone still believe in global warming? I played nine holes on Sunday and it was dreadful: snow, sleet, driving wind, muddy underfoot, freezing cold (despite wearing four layers), fingers chilled to the bone – three putted every green. What collective insanity makes us do it?
Whatever, I look forward to golf on Wednesday with hopeful anticipation. Incidentally, I’ve just heard a commentator at the WGC –CA event in Florida say that Luke Donald was unwise to wear all-white in the ‘muddy conditions’ on the Blue Monster at Doral. I’m thinking of sending him a picture of the immaculate Donald alongside my trousers with the caption: That’s not mud – this is mud.
But back to business. We are scheduled to play our first League match against Boughton on Wednesday so let’s hope things improve by then. I think everyone knows if they have been selected to play but, if you’re not sure, see the table above. I plan to do this now for every team selection, as well as the usual posting on the Vets notice board in the clubhouse. I will try to get at least one reserve for each match and will telephone them the minute I know they are needed. So please be on stand-by if you are a reserve!
Because of the doubtful weather, I suggest you bring an electric trolley, pull trolley and carry bag as well as a choice of golf clothing for all four seasons. Also remember that there will be a lunch afterwards so a change into smart casual is required. I hope to bring along the new clothing but don’t count on it – the holiday is likely to bring out the supplier’s excuses.
If you are not playing in the match you can still get a game by turning up early, no later than about 8:15. The general plan is to start ‘alternative’ play from the second hole, ahead of the match so you do not get held up. This won’t always work, sometimes there may be mid-week-break players around, but we will always find a way to get you a game. Currently, starting from the second looks OK this week. Hope to see you on Wednesday!
Norman
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Monday 17th March
Last week’s Captain’s drive-in was a great success – despite the appalling weather. You can see the published results by clicking here or on the Results box above. Many thanks to all those who turned up, I appreciate it. We collected £119.45 for my charity TocH which I’m sure will be used wisely to help children in need.
This Wednesday sees another main diary event – the first Monthly Stableford of the year. So, if you missed out on the prizes last week, here is your chance to add to your trophy cabinet (assuming you still have the room).
I’m giving up weather forecasting for good. My amateur efforts have turned out to be almost as bad as the ‘professionals’ (you know, those dolly birds on TV). All I can say is that the course was almost under water on Sunday and may not be much better on Wednesday. Unless the world ends or, even worse, the course is closed, we will play the March Stableford for the simple reason that the diary is full and the next alternative date is in late October. It may not be a qualifier for handicap purposes but that will be popular in certain quarters!
I look forward to seeing you there.
Norman
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Monday 10th March
This Wednesday sees one of our main diary events – the Captain’s Drive-In followed by an individual Stableford competition.This year we are starting a new tradition so the event might properly be called the Captains’ Putt-out and Drive-in (but we felt that was a bit long). Anyway, the day will start with last year’s Captain, Charlie Mitcham, symbolically putting out on the 18th. I will then drive-off from the first, symbolically introducing ‘my year’. After my partners have played, I will mark my ball position with a stake. Not worked out yet where I will stick it if I end up in the pond.
Memo to self: check stake floating properties, buy anchor.
You will asked to make a contribution to the Captain’s charity, TocH. I suggest £5 or whatever you can afford (the amount of your contribution will be your secret). In return, you will be given your own marker and must try to drive your ball from the 1st to lie as close as possible to mine. As an 18-hole event on a 9-hole course, you will get a second chance from the 10th to improve your position (I promise not to move my marker in the meantime). There will be two prizes for ‘Nearest the Captain’ as well as one for the Longest Drive (on the 2nd) and trophies for the winner, second and third in the Stableford competition.
After the competition, we will sit down to a free ‘feast’ of sandwiches and chips.
Goodness knows what the course will be like after today’s heavy rain but, assuming the conditions are OK, Wednesday’s Stableford competition will qualify for handicap changes. This is in the spirit of the CONGU request that we qualify our competitions whenever possible. I know some players worry about having too many qualifying competitions as they feel CONGU ‘punishes’ good scores with heavy cuts (typically 0.3 for every shot under handicap) while only ‘rewarding’ really poor scores with a 0.1 increase per competition. This can put us at a disadvantage when playing other clubs that are less scrupulous. There is some truth in this. However, if you play enough qualifying competitions over the year, you will probably find your handicap going up rather than down. We will see. In any case, as long as we and all other clubs follow the CONGU recommendations, we should end up competing on equal terms. Let’s hope the weather will be kinder to us than current forecasts suggest.
On a different matter, League matches start soon with our first one being at home to Boughton on Wednesday 26th March. It is extremely pleasing to report that we have more than enough players to field a good team and Brian and I will sit down together next week to make the selection. My approach is to field the strongest possible side, commensurate with ensuring that everyone who wants to play will get several opportunities during the year. Please do not be disappointed if you are not chosen this time, we will be calling on you often!
Finally, I have good news from Ivan Heanley, the League organiser. Buggies are permitted during regular League matches on production of a medical certificate. This currently applies to only one keen member of ours but who knows how long it will be before we all need one?
I look forward to seeing you on Wednesday.
Best regards
Norman
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Monday 3rd March
This Wednesday’s competition will be a Texas Scramble with the teams decided by a ‘fair’ draw on the morning. That’s ‘Vets fair’ rather than ‘real fair’ of course.
The weather forecast remains cold and dry so dress up warm! The fairways and greens should be recovering from the winter so it’s now time to restrict lifting, cleaning and placing to fairways only.
Full instructions for the Scramble are:
Teams: 4 players (teams of three play a different ‘blind man’ on each hole).
Handicap: 1/10 (one tenth) of the combined handicaps of the four players, to one decimal place.
Tees: Of the day (probably yellow)
How to play: All drive from every tee. Best drive is chosen. The player whose ball is chosen marks the position of his ball and takes the first shot. The other players then place their ball on the fairway within six inches of the mark, no nearer the hole. In the rough, the first player marks the ball and plays it as it lies, the other players drop within six inches of the mark, no nearer the hole. Then the best second shot is chosen and, as before, the player whose ball is chosen plays first, others play from the same spot. Play continues until the ball is holed out.
Each team member’s drive - and the blind man’s if there is one - must be used on four holes (yes, it’s going to be tougher this week). Show this on the scorecard by indicating whose drive was used on each hole.
Scoring: On each hole, record the strokes taken to hole out.
Reporting: After play, total up the team score and deduct the calculated handicap (to one decimal place).
Winning: Team recording the fewest strokes wins. The Captain’s decision is final!
Don’t forget to check out the Vets pages on this website regularly. The content is beginning to build up now and will give us a good record of the year. If you have anything you would like to add to the site let me know and, if suitable, I can upload it.
Look forward to seeing you all on Wednesday.
Norman
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Wednesday 27th February pm
This Wednesday’s competition was a Team Stableford with the teams decided by a ‘fair’ draw on the day. With four scores on each hole, the target winning total was somewhere around 125 points. As you can see on the Results page,one team did significantly better by scoring an amazing 148 points.
As I mentioned last week, we intend to follow the CONGU request to make competitions qualify for handicap adjustments whenever possible – even under winter rules – but we cannot do it at the moment while allowing placing anywhere. I hope that we can get back to normal in early March.
Don’t forget to put your name down for any London Beach logo’d clothing you would like to order for the coming match season – see the noticeboard. Apart from being practical and smart golf wear, I notice that a team turning out in ‘uniform’ gets a psychological advantage over its opponents. It makes us look as if we know what we are doing!
Also on the noticeboard are forms for entering the matchplay competitions to be run during the season and for the Captain’s Drive-in on 12th March.
This website is another way in which our proprietor Pierre Edmonds is supporting us and I know we all want to reciprocate. Pierre especially appreciates us playing in his events such as the Bulmers Pairs, Seniors Open and Captain’s Day so I hope we will support him to the full. I know he is already delighted that we have ten pairs entered for the Bulmers Pairs. Let’s keep it up!